RECOVERiNG SLOWLY... BUT iT'S ONLY THE BEGiNNiNG

"Lord make me and instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy." 

 (the photo above was taken this Easter in France by my baby brother... thanks buddy for your inspiring artistic eye)

i HAVE JUST RECOVERED FROM THE MOST ViOLENT CASE OF FOOD-POiSONiNG i HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED. iT STARTED AT 6AM FRiDAY MORNiNG AND WiTHOUT DiVULGiNG TOO MANY DETAiLS, CONTiNUED TO WORK OUT MY ABDOMiNAL MUSCLES UNTiL 5PM. BY THAT POiNT MY BODY WAS ACHiNG PROFUSELY AND MY HEAD THROBBiNG UNCONTROLLABLY.  NOTHiNG AN 8PM ViSiT TO THE HOT-TUB, A SLEEVE OF SALTiNE CRACKERS, THREE POPSiCLES, FOUR GLASSES OF WATER, TWO BACK-RUBS AND THREE FOOT-RUBS FROM MY ADORiNG AND SELFLESS ROOMiE, AND AN ENDLESS AMOUNT OF HOURS SPENT WATCHiNG MOVIES IN BED, CAN'T CURE. 

TODAY i FEEL MUCH BETTER... EXHAUSTED, SORE FROM MY AB WORK OUT, WEAK, BUT BETTER.

i MUST TAKE THiS TiIME TO THANK MY BESTiE WHO WAS AT MY BECK-N-CALL ALL DAY YESTERDAY AND EVEN TURNED DOWN AN EVENiNG  WiTH HER BOYFRiEND TO STAY HOME AND CARE FOR ME. SHE BOUGHT ME POPSiCLES, A HUGE SPRiTE FROM SONiC, A 2 LiTTER BOTTLE OF SPRiTE, SALTiNE CRACKERS, A RED ICEE,  AND TUMS. SHE THEN OFFERED BACK-RUBS AND FOOT-RUBS WHEN MY BODY ACHED TOO MUCH TO STAND iT, AND SHE SAT WiTH ME iN THE HOT-TUB PATiENTLY UNTiL i WAS READY FOR BED.

 i ONLY WiSH TO BE AS GOOD OF A FRiEND TO HER AS SHE HAS BEEN TO ME TEN-FOLD THESE PAST THREE MONTHS OF US LiViNG TOGETHER. i AM TRUELY BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH A COMPASSiONATE AND SELF-LESS FRiEND iN MY LiFE. 

iN MY PAST EXPERiENCES WiTH FOOD POiSONiNG i HAVE HAD MY MOM OR A SiGNiFiCANT OTHER TO CARE FOR ME, BUT THE ABSENCE OF BOTH LEFT ME FEELiNG EMPTY AND SiMPLY REMiNDED ME OF WHAT iS MiSSiNG FROM MY LiFE, REPLACED BY UNEXPLAiNABLE CHAOS. HOW MUCH CHAOS iS iN MY LiFE YOU ASK? TOO MUCH TO EXPLAiN IN ONE MEASLY LiTTLE BLOG POST. OFFER TO BUY ME COFFEE AND MAYBE WE'LL TALK. 

i HAVE BEEN FORCING MYSELF TO STAY BUSY AND CONSTANTLY "ON THE GO" OR SURROUNDED BY OTHER PEOPLE, FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS, IN ORDER TO AVOiD THE CHANGES OCCURRING. LAYiNG iN BED (OR ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR) RATHER THAN RUSHiNG ABOUT ALL OVER TOWN, HAS FORCED ME TO ACCEPT ALL THAT IS GOiNG ON AN TRY TO EMBRACE THE EMOTiONS i AM CONTiNUALLY BRUSHiNG UNDER THE RUG OF DENiAL. 

ONCE i RECOVER AND AM BACK ON MY FEET i WiLL MAKE AN EFFORT TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY FEELiNGS... RATHER THAN RUN FROM THEM iNTO THE ARMS OF THOSE WHO WERE NOT THERE TO CARE FOR ME WHiLE i WAS SiCK.  

time to accept.

 

time to sow love, pardon, faith, hope, light, and joy. but especially JOY!